They do. Nobody likes grey pubes. I found one a few weeks ago, which was distressing. So I plucked it and was quite pleased with myself. Well, this morning I found a grey eyebrow hair. AND another grey pube! WTF, body? I don't want this! Why must you torture me so???
Enough of that. I'm feeling better most days, which is fantastic. Not where I want to be, but better. I have days still where I'm flat and withdrawn - these happen most when I'm at work. I think from all of the stimulus and all of the different people - almost like sensory overload. But I'm getting there.
Mucking with my thyroid meds again. I was taking 90mg of armor thyroid and my TSH is critically low and my T4 and T3 are in range of causing thyroid storm. Very scary. So Dr. C dropped me down to 60mg (the last time I was at this dose I was hyPOthyroid - we'll see how this works). I can't see an endocrinologist until May 7th.
I found a horse for sale named "Icky". And he pokes other horses with sticks. He pokes other horses with sticks, people!! This is the PERFECT horse for me!! I need him. If only we could afford boarding fees . . .
That's all for now, I'm lazy and want a nap.
Showing posts with label hyperthyroid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hyperthyroid. Show all posts
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Whoooo!
I went almost a week without a post! I've actually been busy and not quite in the mood to write. Mainly because I've been busy. And tired. But lots happened.
Last Sunday, my first day back to work (when I was put on call), I ended up being called in at 1400 for the nursery. I did a whole buncha nothing until 1830 when I was called to a delivery. It went well, I did my thing and was leaving the room around 1850 when the labor and delivery charge came racing towards me yelling "STAT C/S NOW, DR. B's PATIENT! ABRUPTION!" (an abruption is when the placenta detaches before the baby is born - very bad). I ran back to the nursery, literally threw my stuff down, grabbed a new tackle box and ran to the OR. Got in there at 1852, baby was born at 1855 essentially dead. Resuscitated and baby did great. An interesting first day back (I should also mention that I LOVE doing resuscitations - I think I'm the only one there that does).
I worked Wednesday and Thursday, both days in the nursery, and both days went well (and were very busy). So far no issues with going back to work and everyone is respecting my privacy and not asking questions.
I had therapy with M on Tuesday which went very well (as always - love that man). Towards the end of my session I mentioned how with everything that had been going on, I felt like I needed a parent. A parent to hug and cry to. I don't have that with my mom and wouldn't be comfortable with it. At all. And my dad . . .well my dad died in 2000 of lung cancer (he was 43). Now, I'm not going into any detail right now. My dad was my confidant, my hero. I only really opened up to him. I was a daddy's girl 100%. I love him and I miss him. And that grief and sense of loss was raw and overwhelming on Tuesday. I spent the afternoon and evening crying. I cried the big ugly cry every time - you know, the one where you sob uncontrollably and snot is flying everywhere . . .THAT cry. And I needed to. And it was good to let it out. And it was actually refreshing to be crying for something OTHER than depression/hopelessness/emptiness/etc.
Therapy with Chance again yesterday (Friday). He was helpful as always, knew what I needed and responded quickly and comfortably with me. I drew on him with chalk. And he rather enjoyed it. :) The next 2 weeks are the weeks off for the horses so I won't see him until April 5th. Makes me sad, but I'll live :P
One last thing - I'm trying something risky. I'm stopping my thyroid medication. Why is this risky? Because my catastrophic depressive downswing could have been triggered by hypothyroidism. So I'm stopping my thyroid meds. To purposefully induce hypothyroidism. To see if the same thing happens again. I have an appointment with an endocrinologist, but the earliest I can be seen is June 10th. Yeah. JUNE 10TH. The fuck. So, trying this. If I go hypothyroid, and the depression doesn't come, well, then it's probably not the trigger. However, if depression DOES come, then I'll be having my primary doc give me a referral to Denver or ANYWHERE I can get in to see an endo doc WAY sooner than June 10th. And with the current dose of thyroid meds I'm on, I'm HYPERthyroid (if I drop the dose slightly I swing the other way). And let's be honest - the hyperthyroid symptoms are becoming quite bothersome (constipation, hot flashes,increased appetite, brittle nails that split and crack, insanely dry, itchy skin, and my hair is starting to thin and break). So we'll see. This should be interesting.
Last Sunday, my first day back to work (when I was put on call), I ended up being called in at 1400 for the nursery. I did a whole buncha nothing until 1830 when I was called to a delivery. It went well, I did my thing and was leaving the room around 1850 when the labor and delivery charge came racing towards me yelling "STAT C/S NOW, DR. B's PATIENT! ABRUPTION!" (an abruption is when the placenta detaches before the baby is born - very bad). I ran back to the nursery, literally threw my stuff down, grabbed a new tackle box and ran to the OR. Got in there at 1852, baby was born at 1855 essentially dead. Resuscitated and baby did great. An interesting first day back (I should also mention that I LOVE doing resuscitations - I think I'm the only one there that does).
I worked Wednesday and Thursday, both days in the nursery, and both days went well (and were very busy). So far no issues with going back to work and everyone is respecting my privacy and not asking questions.
I had therapy with M on Tuesday which went very well (as always - love that man). Towards the end of my session I mentioned how with everything that had been going on, I felt like I needed a parent. A parent to hug and cry to. I don't have that with my mom and wouldn't be comfortable with it. At all. And my dad . . .well my dad died in 2000 of lung cancer (he was 43). Now, I'm not going into any detail right now. My dad was my confidant, my hero. I only really opened up to him. I was a daddy's girl 100%. I love him and I miss him. And that grief and sense of loss was raw and overwhelming on Tuesday. I spent the afternoon and evening crying. I cried the big ugly cry every time - you know, the one where you sob uncontrollably and snot is flying everywhere . . .THAT cry. And I needed to. And it was good to let it out. And it was actually refreshing to be crying for something OTHER than depression/hopelessness/emptiness/etc.
Therapy with Chance again yesterday (Friday). He was helpful as always, knew what I needed and responded quickly and comfortably with me. I drew on him with chalk. And he rather enjoyed it. :) The next 2 weeks are the weeks off for the horses so I won't see him until April 5th. Makes me sad, but I'll live :P
One last thing - I'm trying something risky. I'm stopping my thyroid medication. Why is this risky? Because my catastrophic depressive downswing could have been triggered by hypothyroidism. So I'm stopping my thyroid meds. To purposefully induce hypothyroidism. To see if the same thing happens again. I have an appointment with an endocrinologist, but the earliest I can be seen is June 10th. Yeah. JUNE 10TH. The fuck. So, trying this. If I go hypothyroid, and the depression doesn't come, well, then it's probably not the trigger. However, if depression DOES come, then I'll be having my primary doc give me a referral to Denver or ANYWHERE I can get in to see an endo doc WAY sooner than June 10th. And with the current dose of thyroid meds I'm on, I'm HYPERthyroid (if I drop the dose slightly I swing the other way). And let's be honest - the hyperthyroid symptoms are becoming quite bothersome (constipation, hot flashes,increased appetite, brittle nails that split and crack, insanely dry, itchy skin, and my hair is starting to thin and break). So we'll see. This should be interesting.
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