Today was a bit annoying mood wise. Started out depressed. I felt like I was going to cry at any given moment for no reason. Just this overwhelming . . . .sadness. And the anger was back. I kept it under control for the most part. Well, I did my best at least. I snapped a few times. And at certain times, I had pressured speech and racing thoughts. Then back to wanting to cry, anger and over and over spiraling continuously, a cyclone around me I could barely keep reigned in. I picture myself in the center of this cyclone, hair flying wildly as I feebly grasp the ropes holding the wall of dust together, because if I let go, if I can't hold on, everything falls apart. Collapses in a mushroom cloud of destruction without any chance of rebuilding.
That's being dramatic I suppose. It's not like that will happen. But that's how it feels sometimes . . .and maybe the best way I can describe it. I don't know.
I needed to write and I can't even think of anything TO write. I'm tired, I know that. Even with the klonopin last night, I didn't sleep well. And keeping my emotions under wraps takes a surprising amount of energy.
Anyway, short post. I think I'll go to bed. Maybe have more inspiration tomorrow.
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