So I'm going back to work on Monday after having been off for 5 weeks. Am I ready to go back? I don't know. I mean, I'm ready in that I want to be back and I'm getting pretty bored at home . . . but I don't know if I'm ready to be back.
I had coffee yesterday with a couple of friends and was, yet again, surprised at how tiring it was. It shouldn't be tiring - it's just coffee - but it was.
If seeing friends, and having coffee with friends is so tiring, so exhausting, how is a 12 hour shift at work going to be?
Well, we'll see.
The past few days I've been coming to terms with something else: how sick I truly was. I can't deny it anymore, even though I still try. I was sick. Very sick. I was mixed and then I was manic - full blown manic, for the first time ever. Then back to mixed. Then suicidal. All in a short period of time. It took a lot out of me. I'm still reeling from it.
There are other changes happening too. Something that I never even dreamed would happen . . .
Hubs and I are considering foreclosing on our house. Foreclosing and filing bankruptcy.
Because of my bipolar.
See, there's a very good possibility that I'm going to be going part time - less stress, better for my brain. But going part time puts an added financial strain on us. Could we afford to stay in our house? Of course! But things would be tight. And if something happened, if I was hospitalized again, or needed disability . . . well, that would be another story.
So we're considering foreclosure and bankruptcy, which is terrifying.
So much going on.
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