Not even sure what to write. Since I stopped the Abilify, I've been sleeping better and the fog is slowly clearing. However, the one thing that I still have is this feeling of emptiness. I still feel like an empty shell of who I really am. Flat and withdrawn. My smiles feel forced and fake. It's especially difficult at work because there's so many people I have to interact with. I don't want people to know anythings wrong.
On another note, I've now gained 10 pounds thanks to the lithium. Which is fucking annoying. Now I have 20 pounds to lose, rather than the 10 I originally was trying to lose. I'm on a 1700 calorie diet and I'm hitting the gym 3-4 days a week and still gaining quickly. A friend of mine is sending me the Insanity Workout DVDs to try. Hopefully those, coupled with the gym, reduced calorie diet, and eventually going off my Lithium, will help and I can lose the weight. Because right now I'm pissed and depressed about it.