Thursday

I had another very good and successful therapy session yesterday with M. We talked about my past week, how I spontaneously applied for a new job position (oncology) without even thinking about it and subsequently had a major panic attack. (that type of behavior is very manic behavior). Talked about ways to curb the impulsiveness that goes along with my illness (so I don't make a mistake I regret). And talked a bit about my mum and then about my constant brain fog.
This mental fog I'm in is getting bad. And each day, it gets worse. By the end of the day, I physically and mentally can't focus and have difficulty even forming words. I feel as though I'm moving in slow motion through a thick sludge and it saps all my energy in doing so. I have trouble concentrating, thinking, focusing, speaking, staying awake. It's a horrible feeling that makes me want to scream and cry. I'm pretty positive it has to do with my medications. This is one of the side effects of Lithium and, well, we increased my dose of Lithium 4 weeks ago and the fog started 3 weeks ago. It may be as simple as decreasing the Lithium. It may mean that I have to switch medications and start all over again (which would suck, mind you). We'll see. I sent Dr. C an email about it and I see him next Wednesday. Wednesday can't come soon enough.
At least, still, for the most part the depression and manic symptoms are staying away. Just gotta get rid of the fog now.