Wait, what?

Wow. Four days without a post! How crazy is that? Not that crazy, I guess. I think cats are crazier than that.

I've been a bit too busy and a bit too tired to write. I've been painting (surprise) and did sew a commission zombie bunny. Go me! And then work - training as charge nurse, which I've pretty much just taken over doing.

Mood wise has been interesting. Ups and downs daily and sometimes hourly. I never know how I'm going to feel one moment to the next. I'm just . . .everywhere. Today I went from slightly depressed and withdrawn to downright hypomanic and everywhere in between. It's frustrating.

Also? I've been having auditory hallucinations! Which is a lot of fun. Really.

Or not. It's a bit terrifying, actually. I've been hearing clicks and whirring and chimes and bells and metal on metal scraping. Yesterday when I got home from the gym, I went to unlock the garage door. Well you know that sound when you put the key in the lock and turn it? Yeah. That's what I heard. When I was doing nothing but standing there. And it wouldn't stop. Not until I put my key in the lock to actually unlock the door. And today at work I heard a girl singing. I looked everywhere (I was at the front desk) and no little girl. Or boy. Or people, for that matter. I heard it again and a coworker of mine did not. It creeped me the fuck out. And writing this I heard a loud, almost vibrating guttural growl.

I've also heard extra voices singing along with the radio/my ipod music. A very clear aberration of what I usually hear. Those extra voices should not be there.

So it's been pretty awesome. I'm going to tell M about it tomorrow and see what he thinks. I'm guessing he'll want me to email Dr. C about it, which I really don't want to do. I don't want any more meds. I don't want anything more to be going on.

Why can't the voices tell me how awesome I am? And give me the winning lotto numbers? And help me write my book? Maybe they could deal with my annoying patients and coworkers too . . . Or at least make me a sandwich. I don't know if voices can do that. But they should.