If you've been reading, then you know I had my first appointment today with a psychiatrist. It's been a long time coming and thank God I finally got to see one. He's a dapper old fellow who's been in practice for 30 years and he knows his stuff. Very personable, straight and to the point - he's not gonna bullshit ya. Also genuinely caring. I liked him immediately. He liked my obnoxiously green shoes.
Let's talk about said appointment now. It went . . . rather well. We talked a lot about this depressive episode, past depressive episodes and my mood overall. My diagnosis was confirmed - I am bipolar type 2. Though he doesn't necessarily like to use that term, "bipolar". Lots of negative connotations with it. He prefers I say I cycle my moods. Which, truthfully, is what happens when you're bipolar. The interesting thing is that how I've been treated all these years, with antidepressants, doesn't work for someone who "cycles their moods". It may work for a few months, but, inevitably, the meds stop working. Why? Because they only treat the depression - not the mood disorder.
Well then, what works? A mood stabilizer. Typically used without an antidepressant. Which means we have a plan. I'm starting on Lithium - the tried and true mood stabilizer for bipolar disorder. We'll be weaning me off of the Lexapro as I shouldn't need it once the Lithium starts working. I'll be working closely with my psychiatrist over the coming months to find a balance. I now have a therapist who I'll be working closely with also.
In a word, I have hope. Finally . . . hope.
Some of you may want to know how to help. Maybe help me (if you're one of my friends or family), or maybe you know someone else in your life with bipolar disorder. My words of advice - read up on the condition. Know that this is a chemical imbalance of the brain and is no one's fault. You can't "get over" bipolar disorder or depression - just like you can't "get over" cancer. Be patient, be understanding and listen. Offer support, a hug, a shoulder to cry on. If you notice the person (including me) not quite acting like themselves - unusually happy, giddy, agitated, angry - point it out. It could be the start of a mood cycle and the person is often unaware of the subtle changes. But, more than anything, just be there for them. Being a friend or family member of someone dealing with bipolar disorder or depression can be very stressful and, at times, frustrating. Trust me when I say that I appreciate your concern, your presence, your patience, your support.
If you have questions about what I'm going through or feeling or about bipolar disorder in general, please ask. I'm more than happy to answer questions. And I would love to educate people more on this condition as it is chronic and lifelong. Those of you who know me know that I'm open, so approach me. If you're suffering from bipolar disorder or depression and need someone to talk to, drop me a line. I'll do what I can to help.
Know that I have hope. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it's growing brighter every day. I'm moving forward, I'm getting better, and I'm here to help.