Today was a much better day. A stark contrast from Thursday, and better than yesterday. One thing I discovered though, is one of the triggers for my anxiety. When I start having depressive thoughts, I now try to stop them cold. This produces anxiety. Heart races, I feel like I'm not getting enough air . . .ugh.
Also, I'm so tired. So very tired. Probably because I haven't been sleeping well, but also, the anxiety, and the stopping of my current thinking processes, is tiring. I want a solid night of sleep. No tossing and turning, no dreams (they're not the best right now), no random waking up.
There's more I want to write. Lots more. I just don't have the concentration to do so. Though I will say this: a special THANK YOU to my good friends - Lesley, Beth, Tracy, Christine, and of course Jeremy. Thank you for checking in on me, talking to me, acknowledging what's going on and not letting it scare you off. I appreciate you more than you'll ever know. You give me strength and courage and the will to try and get better when it seems things are falling apart. Thank you.